Random Acts of Senseless Fuckery
Published on January 13, 2005 By evilPidge In Philosophy
Here in central Texas every January, the Cedar trees come into bloom releasing billions and billions* of grains of pollen. To the misery of those with over-enthusiastic histamines this time of hell, er... year, is called "Cedar Fever Season" even though for most, there is no fever involved.

I am a very allergic person. When I was 11 or 12 I went to an allergist and had an allergy test. If you've never experianced this, I would suggest spreading honey on your back, and laying down, face up, on a fire ant hill. That'll get you close to the experiance. What they do is take a marker and draw a grid on your back. They then inject you with a very small amount of stuff that people commonly allergic to. Repeat this 70 or so times. They come back in 10 or 15 minutes to see how big your outbreak is (measured in milimeters) and thus, how allergic you are to each one of the 70-odd things they are testing.

With me, I was so allergic to some of the items on the list, they they were unable to tell where one reaction ended and the next one begin. My back was one big red welt.

So Cedar Fever is ravaging me again. I spend most of my days sniffing and sneezing and blowing my nose. Although it really sucks to have your eyes watering, your nose rubbed raw from blowing it, and snot constantly draining from my sinuses, I think the most annoying thing about Cedar Fever is the dedicated "Bless You" people you meet.

When I get into a sneezing fit, I will sometimes sneeze 10 to 15 times in a row in such rapid succession that I have a hard time taking a breath in between sneezes. Most people understand this and usually only say "bless you" once or twice. Every once in a while though, there is the dedicated "Bless You" person. This person feels what must be a uncontrolable urge to say, "bless you" after each and every sneeze. Its not that I don't appreciate the gesture. Its nice when people say bless you, but when I'm having trouble standing up, or even catching my breath, its kinda hard to say "thanks" after every sneeze, and because I'm a rather nice person, I do feel compeled to say thank you, after each bless you.

So a little bit of etiquette for you. Stop saying bless you after the second sneeze. The allergic people of the world understand that you mean well, and that you hope we feel better, but we're just trying to survive the latest attack.

Thank you.

Comments
on Jan 13, 2005
Given the "Happy Holidays" crap we saw a few weeks back, maybe "Bless you" is too politically incorrect anyway...
on Jan 13, 2005
Lately I've taken to saying "F**k you" or "Stop showing off" when someone sneezes multiple times. Why is there no procedure for coughs? After all a cough usually indicates something more serious heathwise than a sneeze.
on Jan 13, 2005
Lately I've taken to saying "F**k you" or "Stop showing off"


wow. thats pretty f-ed up... i can tell you from experiance that if i could, i'd certainly stop sneezing after the first one.
on Jan 13, 2005
I too usually sneeze at least 7-8 times in rapid succession. What bothers me, though, is when you are in a crowded room and this happens. After each sneeze, a different person says 'Bless You'! Do you know how annoying it is sneezing and having a 'Bless You' coming from every corner of the room?
on Jan 14, 2005
yes. yes i do.