When I was stationed in in Korea the first time, getting home was a bit of a pain in the butt. You had to take an hour long bus ride that cost about $1.50 and then take a cab for 20-30 min that cost $20-$30. The times are all, of course, in relatively decent traffic, which Seoul is not known for.
When I went back to Korea the second time I was happy to find out that the Seoul subway system had been extended so that it ran directly to Kimpo airport. This would be extremely convienient because from the place I was stationed at the second time, I could take the subway the whole way (about an hour and a half) to the airport and it would cost me less than a dollar.
Unfortunately the military, in its infinite wisdom and decided that all service members returning from a tour in Korea would fly out of Osan Air Base (which ironically is about a 15 min cab ride from where I was stationed the first time I was in Korea). Everyone had to be at the Air Base at 7am the day they were scheduled to fly so for those of us stationed up north, we left our units the day before.
I left Camp Essayons and took a cab over to Camp Red Cloud to catch the military bus down to Seoul. From there I was taking another bus down to Camp Humphreys. I knew some people there and I would be spending the night there and leave the next morning. I got to Camp Red Cloud and bought my ticket to Seoul. There were about 15-20 other GIs waiting for the same bus. When the bus rolled in from Camp Casey (further to the North) it was COMPLETELY FULL and only 5-10 people got off at Red Cloud. Needless to say I didn't get on that bus. It wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that a couple of the guys were real dicks about it and were laughing at us that didn't get on the bus. Well I got with another guy that also didn't get on the bus (we were both leaving country) and we shared a cab down to Seoul for $10 each. Its funny because I spoke Korean, I told the guy that we were both anxious to get home and that if he got to Seoul quickly, we'd both tip him well.
This guy practically flew down to Seoul. We got down there about 30 minutes before the packed bus that left Red Cloud. Because everyone had to change over to a new bus, we were able to buy tickets and stake out seats on the bus down to Humphreys before the other bus even rolled in! I made my day to see one of the guys that had been jeering us watching the bus pull away because he wasn't able to get a seat on it.
Well the bus took us to Osan and my friend was waiting for me there. He was married and lived off post and therefore had his own car. He picked me up and took me back to his place for a bit. His wife had gone back to the states to visit family so it was just the two of us. Stan and I went out to dinner that night on Camp Humphreys with some other people I knew. After dinner Stan left his car at the club on post and we went "down range" to the clubs. It was about 7pm. I told Stan that I didn't want to stay out too late and that I didn't want to drink too much if I had to fly the next day, but I don't think he heard me because I went to more bars in Anjun-Ree that night than I ever knew exsisted. and it seemed like everytime I turned around someone was buying me a drink. Hell I even had some of the juciey girls buying me drinks.
Well we stumbled back to Stans place in the rain about 2am. We slept until about 6am and the plan was we would go pick up Stans car and he would drive me to the Air Base. Well 6am rolled around and we were still drunk. Not tipsy, not buzzing, full on drunk. We decided that we would go and find me a cab to take me to the Air Base. The only problem was that neither one of us had any cash on hand. It was no problem really because there was an ATM right on post. We stumbled down to post in the rain (it was June, its always raining in Korea in June). We got there, Stan grabbed me a cab, but the ATM was broke. There was another ATM on the other side of post so the cabby took me there. I was really worried that all the ATMs might be down (it happens rather frequently in Korea) because I already had a $5 tab, and had zero dollars on me.
Luckily the other ATM was working and I was able to get money out and head to the Air Base. I got there right about 7am and got in this huge line that was wound around the outside of the building. Now if you have never experianced a Korean monsoon, you wont understand this next part.
So I'm standing in this huge line outside in the rain. Theres an overhang but its not really protecting us much because the rain is coming down at a 45 degree angle and hitting so hard that we're all getting soaked from the knee down. After about an hour and a half i get to the hed of the line and see what is taking so long. They only have one x-ray machine and its overheating ever 5 minutes and has to be shut down to cool off.
I finally get throught the x-ray machine and then have to wait another hour in line to get through baggage check in. So now its 9:30 and I look to find out when the flight is going out. I'm shocked to find out that its not till 2pm!!!
I sit aroudn, soaking wet, for four and a hlaf hours before i finally get on the plane. I'm starting to sober up (but thankfully am not getting a hangover) as I sit down in the middle seat next to an older guy that introduces himself as a chaplin. He proceeds to start to talk to me about everything. The most annoying of which is his opinon of women. Every five minutes or so he would elbow me and say, "get a load of the tits on that one!" to which I would grunt, turn the volume of my CD player up and pretend to go to sleep. You'd think that the guy would take a hint wouldn't you? Of course not. This horses ass continues to nudge me until the flight takes off and they play some country videos on the movie screen. At which point he sits quietly and drools on himself whilst watching Faith Hill.
One thing really hurt me in my time in the Army was that I can't sleep sitting up. I don't know what it is, but I just can't sleep, or if I do fall asleep, can't sleep long, sitting up, so flights to and from Korea were my own personal bit of hell. I sat there in slowly drying clothes pretending to be asleep so that sex-fiend-chaplain would leave me alone for eleven and a half ours.
Finally we landed in Seattle. As per the norm for flights coming back from Korea, everyone clapped and cheered because they were glad to be back in the US. As we were taxiing one of the hostesess was reading the directions for where to go to get to customs. After what seemed to be a really long time taxiing, we got to the gate and got hooked up. By this time half of the people in the plane were standing up, ready to get off. We sat there for about 5 minutes and nothing happened. Finally something happened. The hostess started reading the customs directions again!!!
By now people are really starting to get pissed. The Aircraft is shut down so the AC is off and its really starting to get warm and rank in there. The hotess finishes the custom instructions for the second time and proceeds to start over again! And now people are yelling.
It turns out that the flight had arrived early and that the customs officals weren't at work yet (it was about 6am iirc) and we were not allowed in the customs terminal without agents there.
After another 5 minutes or so they let us off, and I was never so glad to be "home" before or after.